For some reason, I, Sully, decided to write and release an autobiography in 2012 as one half of the NHL’s Green Men. Thankfully, the book is no longer available online or in-store because the mistakes in it – both literally and figuratively – are endless.
So, with the past week being “autobiography week” with the release of Matthew Perry and Brian Johnson’s life stories, I’ve decided to let you know about a few potential hiccups to look out for before you write yours.
First and foremost, if you have a publishing deal lined up, don’t get greedy. I had one in my hand, but decided I could make more money if I released it and put in all the leg work myself. Don’t do that. Secondly, and this is a big one…
Don’t cheap out on editing
Because I made the wise move of saying no to a publisher, I had to get everything done myself (and on my own dollar). Toward the end of the process though before I got thousands of copies printed, I decided to cheap on the editor. So I paid $500 for a guy to essentially hit spell check and made my font size microscopic. To make matters worse, he also then sent off the final version to the printers too.
Why was this a mistake? Well, not only is the book full of typos – many of which are on friends and colleagues names – but it also took my book from a few hundred pages and change down to just over 100.
Overnight my book became a glorified pamphlet.
Don’t call it Part One
Just days before the book that took two years of my life to write was set to become a whittled down disgrace to the English language, I had the grand idea of adding Part One to the cover. All the while, I thought to myself, “There’s a pretty good chance I’ll write another”. Spoiler. There wasn’t. We’d end up retiring shortly after I released the book and there just wasn’t enough material from there on out.
I never wrote a second part which left a lot of people wondering what the point of that was? They weren’t wrong. In hindsight, every single first book, show or movie ever written could be the start of a series so there’s really no point adding that to the cover page. Once you add, it makes it expected. In other words, don’t be dumb like me. Don’t do that!
Don’t add a chapter devoted to a past girlfriend
This is a big one, but the way I see it I was 25, I was heartbroken and stupid. So, with that, I wrote a chapter devoted to a former partner. I think most people read between the lines and saw that it was a last ditch play to get her back. It was, but the biggest problem with it, is that it had nothing to do with the actual story. It also made for a extremely awkward chapter years later seeing how I didn’t end up with that person and am happily married to someone else.
Not smart. Also, kind of weird.
Anyhow, best of luck writing yours and if you do get that book deal (like I had)…just take the damn money and run!!!
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