The most infamous face in all of Nova Scotia returned this past weekend to the big mall in Dartmouth. The proud, happy, joyous yet terrifyingly, mortifying and hideously should be immediately retired face of Woody the Christmas Tree made its illustrious return to the main corridor.
Albeit, the face has been updated, but it’s still just as disturbing as it was 15-years ago. To be honest, the update may not have worked as well as the mall staff may have hoped. We’re kind of feeling they somehow made this thing even worse. It now looks like a Botoxed clown with the world’s worst fake lashes who likes to watch.
Enough of our honest thoughts though, let’s see how Halifax feels about it with our latest top five.
#5: The Dreamer
— Andy Bowers (@evilpez4) November 22, 2021
It’s understandable. It’s hard to carry a conversation when you’ve got something on your mind. For this guy, though, it’s definitely an individual problem. The continuation of this meme is this guy sitting on a therapist couch the next morning.
#4: The Terminator
“Come with me if you want to live.” @WoodyXmasTree pic.twitter.com/11Ermap8df
— Brian George (@BrianGeorgeHFX) November 21, 2021
The eye stopped working for a little while apparently during Woody’s debut over the weekend. If, when that eye reopened, it looked like this, we don’t think anybody would’ve been surprised.
#3 – The Real Housewives
— Andy Bowers (@evilpez4) November 20, 2021
This may be the most fitting of all the memes we’ve come across thus far. The Botox, the makeup, the lips, the lashes, the judgement it gives off while peering down at the common folk heading to Winners (myself included). We’re proud of any show filmed in our own backyard, but we’re definitely not tuning into this one.
#2 – The Shining
— Andy Bowers (@evilpez4) November 21, 2021
The Shining ranks as one of our scariest horror movies of all-time. Obviously, Jack Nicholson was incredible as the leading psychotic hero/villain. How much scarier would the film be with Woody the crazy winking clown though? Seeing that face in the door jam would be enough to scar you for life. Suggesting it hasn’t already.
#1 – Red Light, Green Light
After several years away, Woody the Talking Christmas Tree is back at the Mic Mac Mall.
People have wondered what he's been up to for the last while. "Oh, just playing some children's games."https://t.co/n6tWDNj5G6 pic.twitter.com/C8JSFGUF8j
— starshipsstarthere (@stshipstarthere) November 20, 2021
As soon as we saw that one of the eyes was broken on the first day, we all saw this meme coming (no pun intended). Would anybody be that shocked if the ground floor of the big mall looked like this last weekend? To put our minds and imagination to rest, let’s just hope that eye never breaks again.
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